Teaser Tuesday asks you to : Grab your current read, Open to a random page, Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page. This teaser is from one of my novels, and like me the main character has hit those mid-life years where you feel like the future is finally just around the corner, for better or for worse! That’s my mom with my sister Amy and my big brother David, and my dad steadying baby David as he takes his first steps.

Maxine had only to close her crinkly farsighted eyes and she could see her father, young and healthy, putting on his felt fedora and blowing her a kiss as he left for work in the morning, or her pretty young mother setting a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies down on the table in front of her after school. She could see a six-year-old Sela at her first ballet recital, the ten-year-old Sela doing cartwheels on the front lawn, and the confident young college student waving goodbye in front of her dorm at Brown. It all went by so fast. Too fast. Maxine often wished she had a pause button that she could hit on the really good days. She didn’t want to stop time—she just wanted to slow it down and give herself more time to take it all in.

I haven’t posted any generators for a while and since life can’t be all whine and no play, here’s a few online image gadgets for you to check out. The MP Change website is really wild (Clooney in the afro). You upload a photo (simple straight on portraits work best) and it animates it and then you can add wigs, hats, and facial hair. Unfortunately, you can’t save the actual moving picture, but it’s still a lot of fun! Just click on the pics and go make your own:)

Teaser Tuesday asks you to : Grab your current read, Open to a random page, Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page. I’m reading The Book of Lies by Brad Meltzer. I don’t read a lot of mysteries or thrillers but sometimes I think it’s good to step out of your reading comfort zone and shake things up a bit. I’m really enjoying the read and when I went to his website I also enjoyed his snarky sense of humor! He has fake movie trailers and in one video he’s got family members reading some crummy reviews of the book. It’s totally hilarious, you gotta love a guy who can laugh at the critics! And if those are real reviews I certainly don’t agree with them. I plan to read more of his books, he’s an interesting guy and a good writer.

My teaser sentences are from page 44 where he writes, It’s so damn easy to judge. But Paulo knows from his niece, no matter how much you want someone back in your life, sometimes it’s the letting-them-back-in part that hurts the most. I reread that second sentence several times. It struck me how true it was, and not just about letting people back in, but about letting anything back into your life that you associate with heartache. Years ago, I had to stop painting because I was very ill. When I finally regained my health I didn’t go back into the spare bedroom where my easel was set up for many months. I thought it was because I was afraid I wouldn’t remember how to paint, that I may have lost the ability to be creative after going through so much physical and emotional hurt.

One afternoon, I finally got up the nerve to venture into my little studio. I opened a can of turpentine and squeezed a selection of oil colors onto my palette. Facing a blank white canvas, I breathed in the scent of my paints, dipped my paintbrush into a swirl of cadmium red, and promptly burst into gut wrenching sobs. It was at that moment that I realized it wasn’t the fear of not being able to paint that had kept me away from my art, it was the fear of losing it all over again if my health problems returned. I had grieved long and hard after first losing that part of me, did I really want to let it back in? So I agree with Mr. Meltzer, that simple little sentence says a whole lot about human nature and I imagine most of us can relate to in one way or another.

I didn’t sleep well Monday night. I tossed and turned and at one point toward morning I found myself dreaming. In the dream, a dark-haired little boy who was no more than six or seven years old, was standing next to me. He seemed very kind and much older than he looked and he spoke with a slight, sing-song Indian accent. “If there was only one thing I could give you right now, what would it be?” he asked. My mind started reeling, one thing, only one wish and I had to come up with it right then. I thought it was impossible to answer such a big question without having more time to think about it! But I was wrong, because at that moment the answer came to me and I said, “Peace of mind.” The little boy reached out without speaking and touched me gently. I closed my eyes and went into a pleasant meditative state, my mind was quiet, and yes, at peace. I haven’t meditated in a long time, even though I’ve been thinking I need to start again. So here I am, where we all find ourselves so often, wondering…was it just a dream, or was the universe whispering sweet somethings in my ear?

See other (nearly) Wordless Wednesday participants here.

I don’t post many recipes, but decided to share one of my favorites today. One of the best things about living in a four season state is changing your cooking with the weather. We’re covering up the barbecues and firing up our ovens and Crock Pots here in Michigan. My sister Carrie, the family cook, made this beef stew for us once and it immediately became an all-time favorite around here. Not only because it tastes so good, but because it’s pretty much a no-fail recipe!

Carrie’s Beef Stew

4 tablespoons olive oil
3 1/2 pounds boneless beef chuck roast, trimmed, cut into 2 1/2-inch pieces
3 1/2 cups chopped onions
2 cups Cabernet Sauvignon
1 14.5-ounce can diced tomatoes with Italian herbs, undrained
1/2 cup hoisin sauce (I use Kame brand because it’s Gluten-Free)
2 bay leaves

1 pound slender carrots, peeled, cut diagonally into 1-inch lengths
1 tablespoon cornstarch mixed with 1 tablespoon water
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

Heat 2 tablespoons oil in heavy large pot over high heat. Sprinkle meat with salt and pepper. Add meat to pot; sauté until brown on all sides, about 10 minutes. Push meat to sides of pot. Reduce heat to medium; add 2 tablespoons oil to pot. Add onions; sauté until golden brown, about 15 minutes. Mix meat into onions. Add 1 cup wine, tomatoes with juices, hoisin sauce, and bay leaves. Bring to boil.

Reduce heat to low, cover pot and simmer 45 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add carrots and 1 cup wine. Cover; simmer 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Uncover, increase heat to high; boil until sauce is slightly thickened, stirring occasionally, about 15 minutes longer. Reduce heat to medium, add cornstarch mixture and simmer until sauce thickens, stirring occasionally, about 8 minutes. Discard bay leaves. Season stew with salt and pepper. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Cool slightly. Chill uncovered until cold, then cover and keep refrigerated. Bring to simmer before serving, stirring occasionally.) Transfer stew to large bowl. Sprinkle with parsley; serve.

Okay, so that’s the recipe. Now I don’t know about you, but I always change things up as I go depending on my mood and what I have in the pantry. I like to use lean, thinly sliced steak, I usually make it in a Crock Pot cooking it on low for about 6-8 hours or on high for 4-5 hours. I throw in baby carrots sliced in half if I have them, I rarely have fresh parsley around so I skip that or use dry, most of time when I make this all the wine goes in at once, my husband and onions don’t get along so I use onion salt or flakes, and I often don’t get around to the cornstarch. The stew goes great with mashed potatoes or rice. I’ve even made it into a rich soup a couple of times by thinning the stock with a little water and adding frozen chopped vegetables.

The cows in the photo hung out in a pasture near our condo in Jackson Hole. Hmm, their cute little bovine faces are giving me a case of the meat-eating guilt’s, maybe I’ll skip the beef and throw in some tofu next time!

I asked my dad a couple of times before the one year anniversary of my mother’s death if he wanted to do anything on that day. The first time I asked him he simply shook his head. A week later when I brought it up he said, “No, it isn’t something to celebrate.”  I wanted to say I wasn’t thinking we’d go out to the bar or anything, but I let it go, knowing we each need to grieve in our own way.  When the date arrived I went to the store and bought one white balloon like the ones we released at her memorial service. I drove to the park where the service was held and I walked up the hill to the clearing where we all had gathered. I held the balloon under my arm, cradling it close to my body so the brisk fall breeze wouldn’t take it from me until I was ready to let it go.

I’m not sure if I went to the park to honor my mother, remember that sad day, or if it wasn’t really for more selfish reasons. Because the prayer I murmured out loud to myself that afternoon was for me, not my mom. I prayed that the anger I had been feeling since her death would go away once and for all, and I asked that my nighttime dreams be about my healthy mom and not my sick mom – the mom who’s suffering broke my heart over and over again, day after day during the last months of her life.

As the autumn wind swallowed my words I let the balloon go. It sailed almost straight up into the blue September sky. I stood squinting in the bright sunlight and watched as it rose higher and higher, determined not to take my eyes off it until it was lost from sight. Several minutes passed, and then, at the exact moment the balloon left my view for good, a hawk swooped in just over the treeline and flew directly over my head. It was the only bird within sight, the only bird I saw the entire time I stood on that lonely hillside. The hawk soared and dipped on an invisible current of air and I turned and watched as it flew in the opposite direction of the white balloon.

Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

See other Wordless Wednesday participants here.

The view from the tram at Grand Teton Village in Jackson, Wyoming.

Teaser Tuesday asks you to : Grab your current read, Open to a random page, Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page. In February of 2008 I started a meme based on the book created by Smith Magazine, book Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure. Recently I got a copy of their latest book, I Can’t Keep My Own Secrets which are six word memoirs written by teens. I love the whole six word memoir idea and reading what teens wrote was fascinating. When I opened it today these were the memoirs I read. The exits were entrances in disguise. ~Shannon B. Learned that sometimes friends aren’t forever. ~Victoria L. His abuse made me respect myself. ~Lindsey E. Good stuff.